Sickity Sick Sick

Niko is so sick. Yesterday he was a bit cranky with a runny nose. Around dinner he ran a brief, low fever. Then at 2:00 this morning, he woke up crying and screaming in his room. It sounded like he was breathing through a straw. I got the vaporizer going, and Luke gave him a blessing, which was comforting. Then we used Vicks on his chest (he hated it) and Niko crawled in bed with us until he fell asleep.

I listened to him breathe. I thought about the nebulizers and the pneumonia and the treatments that he's had. I curse the medical care in this community. I curse myself for balking at taking him. I dread the tantrums, the fear, the absolutely ballistic freaking out. If you haven't seen Niko in full-blown panic mode, then even your best imagining can't come close. It's like holding a 50 pound nuclear bomb in your arms. His strength becomes super human.

So it's 4:30 am now, and I came out here to type and think. The good news is that Dad is down and visiting, so if we need to make a hospital run, I have a car and a babysitter for Nina. I'm hoping it won't come to that, of course, but I'm prepared. I can do difficult things.

But I have some good news! I made arrangements to do my first book signing! Ever. It'll be in my hometown this August sometime. Every little step that I take will lead me somewhere! So I'll be signing Neverlands and Otherwheres and A Cup of Comfort for Parents of Children with Special Needs. I'm so glad that they suggested that the authors do promo. I never would have done it myself in a million years, and I need to learn how. Also, I received an exciting and positive email concerning "Ray". I wrote about these things at http://www.abrokenlaptop.wordpress.com/.

Okay! Goodnight!

What Is This Thing Called A "Blog"?

I just fell off the edge of the world, and now I have returned. Actually, to be honest, do you know why I haven't written here in so long? It's because I said that I was going to scan Niko's picture, and I haven't. And it seems incredibly hard to go to the garage, locate the scanner, and do all of that! I'm easily overwhelmed. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. But I do plan to do it soon. After I mail in a few contracts and make a few phone calls. This week, maybe?Yes. This week. :)

We have an appointment in mid-May with a child development specialist. In Boise! So we'll see Luke's parents and Pyper! I can hardly wait! For that aspect of it...the actual appointment will be hard. We also have a heart echo, MRI, and EKG scheduled. And we're meeting with a new pediatrician, since the old one is a minion of Hell.

That said, check out http://www.abrokenlaptop.wordpress.com/! I have a lot on my plate right now, and I'm very excited about it! I'm taking steps in the right direction. And I have a few new pieces out. Also, A Cup of Comfort for Parents of Children with Special Needs is coming out on May 12. I'm story number 6, "Peanut Butter Toast". The book is ten dollars and you should be able to buy it at any major bookstore. Isn't that awesome?! I've officially infiltrated Barnes and Noble and Borders! Bwa ha!

Today the bookstores, tomorrow the world.

My favorite song this week is "Waiting" by Shiny Toy Guns. It's song number 25 down on the playlist if you'd like to listen. Bitterly sweet and melancholy, with a touch of longing. Delicious.