Ha Ha! I Laugh At You! (Cautiously)

So! Niko suffers from the Mother of All Colds, but not pnemonia, RSV, or bronchialitis. I am so relieved! I feel like we scrambled out from under the gun, and I fling insults at this illness! You can't keep us down, baby! We always come back. We always survive. Then I knock on wood and pray in gratitude. Lesson learned. Wellness treasured, check. Not taking things for granted, check. Relief and little bit of I-Get-Knocked-Down-But-I-Get-Up-Again cockiness, check check CHECK. Because a bit of swagger makes me cheerful.

And mama needs cheerful.

The Williams Law of Physics

Reality slaps us down pretty hard sometimes, I think, but it's all for a good reason. Ah, the cold and flu season! It makes us grumpy and turns us into gravel voices on the phone. But when you have a medically fragile child, it takes on this new kind of intensity.

Okay, so it's not new. It's the same kind of intensity that we've experienced for the last four years. Is it possible for intensity to be grinding? Because if there is such a thing as a grinding, wearing intensity, this is it.

Niko has been sick since Wednesday, the first to go down. He had a fever and a slight cough, and was cuddled, bathed, sponged down, sung to, napped with, and taken care of with SO MUCH CARE. All while caring for Nina, and sanitizing everything so that Sweetness herself wouldn't come down with Mystery Illness, too. On Friday I went down. Hard. Luke took the kids and I didn't spend more than half an hour at a time out of my bed. Saturday, after a victorious 5k race, (take that, illness! Fie!) Luke went down. I managed to wake the dead (myself) and get a handle on the household.

Cut to today, Super Bowl Sunday. Which is important to millions of people, but not to me. Nina's fussy and sleeping a lot. Niko's coughing every five minutes, although with a little more energy. Luke is practically human, and I'm breathing. So what's wrong?

This is what's wrong. We're taking the kids to the doctor in the morning. For those of you who have witnessed this experience firsthand (Dad) you know that his terror and shrieking makes everybody downright stupid. It's really hard to take him. I've convinced myself that he has pnemonia, and the last time that he did, we were incarcerated inside of the hospital for days. I was slowly packing an overnight bag for Niko and myself, just in case, and the feelings that rushed over me were absolutely overwhelming. What if he is in the hospital? He's bigger now, and I'm sick myself. What if we're there for days? What about Nina? But mostly it was not again not again not again.

An object in motion tends to stay in motion. An object at rest tends to stay at rest. We had been allowed to stop the crazy carousel ride for a while and just rest. No hospitals. No meds. Just rest.

It hurts to give this up. It's like taking a breath and saying, "I somehow thought all of this was over," and then realizing that it won't ever be over, not really. There will always be colds. There will always be hospitals. And of course, there will always be Williams. That's just the reality of it, and like I said, sometimes reality feels that it needs to slap us down. I think that I choose to be grateful for that, because when you rest for too long, like we did, you forget how it was before. I was taking Niko's general good health for granted, and I don't ever want to do that. I want to always treasure his wellness.

The Great Santa Run

Niko's not in this picture because the woman who took it is a Nazi. "No screaming! You're out of the picture!" she informed him, and who were we to argue? Niko's sitting in shame in the double stroller, thinking about what he has done.

Painting The Roses Red

Okay, so I'm apparently painting EVERYTHING red right now! Niko's chairs. The piano. My hair.

Yes, my hair. It's red and vibrant and happy, and I love it. Imagine strawberries. Imagine you're walking the streets in Russia. It's the kind of red that Luke doesn't enjoy very much, but he's a sport. And I'm twirling outside in the street, so it's all good.

Christmas was spectacular. We had it at my house this year, so it was pleasantly lazy. Riley gave us Guitar Hero III, which Luke is playing even as I write this. Niko is apparently dancing in front of the TV, because I hear, "Niko, watch out! Noooo! Augh." It's a fun game, and there's a little bit of addiction going on. I also have a ring to wear until we buy another wedding ring. I lost mine two years ago now, and it's still heartbreaking. It's nice to have something to flash to would-be suitors, however.

Okay, you caught me. I don't have any of those. But if I did, this slim new band would hold them at bay, I tell you!

Niko has learned to help me unload the dishwasher. He also slides his hand behind Nina's head like we do when we pick her up. Nina just scored her first tooth, one on the front bottom. Her canines were threatening to come in, and she would have been a vampire just like Mama and Niko, but at last, common sense prevailed. I have a feeling that she might be something sweet and lovingly sturdy, a beautiful stake that we can tie ourselves to and anchor ourselves on. Goodness knows that would be a good thing.

Red Sonja

Guess what I did this week, amid the Christmasy splendor? I painted our piano! Woo! Sonja the Piano had a tough go of it, and got pretty massacred during the move here last summer. I could hardly stand to look at her, let alone play her. but I painted her bright red, and she's joyful again. There's also a new awesome couple in our ward, and the guy offered to tune her, so things are looking up for Red Sonja.

Oh yeah. And the rest of us are okay, too. ;)

Bless Your Heart

November is an especially busy month. I always hated it before...it was boring and dreary and Thanksgiving always had something horribly tragic associated with it, like '80's death for example.

But now that I'm in the middle of working on my second novel, (about 18,000 words into it!) it gives me something to look forward to all year. And I do! Pypes also came and visited, and we had the best time! Riding rollercoasters, log flumes, and watching a stage production of Sweeney Todd. (was I the only girl cheerily singing "They all deserve to die...tell you why, Mrs. Lovette, tell you why..." while folding the whites?) And the shopping! Good heavens, the incessant shopping! Yours truly scored BIG TIME, including a jewel-toned blue trench coat. Nice.

But I landed in the ER again, because my heart rate was beating so slowly and I was getting dizzy and the like. They thought it could be the meds, so they pulled me off of them. Turns out it wasn't, because I had another EKG today, and I'm off to the cardiologist on Monday. I don't know if I should be scared or relieved. I think that I choose relieved. My heart rate is 46 beats a minute, and she's concerned about anything below 60. There are meds out there, she says, that can raise my heart rate. I feel fine when I'm running or doing something really active, but anytime I sit or lay down, I just feel like I'm sliding. So this is a good thing, going to see what's up. I just want to feel good again. I almost can't remember how that feels.

But the novel is going well! I'm in pretty good spirits most of the time. I also realized today that I can prance around in four inch heels without the slightest bit of trouble! A happy realization for us all! I added a great navy pair to the red ones. I can even run in them, which comes into play every time that Niko tries to escape during sacrament.

The other day, Luke said, "Niko, where's Mom?" and he pointed to me without hesitation. THAT is what is good for my heart.

Also, Luke and I are doing a Santa Run next month. A 5k for Luke, and a one-mile walk for me and the two kidlets. We're trying to break the Guiness Book of World Records for the Largest Santa Gathering, and we'll both have a five piece Santa suit. ROCK ON! The kids get elf hats. I'll die laughing if we choose that for our Christmas picture!

I'm A Winner!

I had something to tell you. What was it? Oh yeah.

I JUST SOLD MY FIRST SHORT STORY TO A LITERARY MAGAZINE!!!!!

I submitted it in July and heard back yesterday. I'll be published in the January 2008 addition of The Vestal Magazine. Payment? Twelve bucks and a copy.

BEST twelve dollars that I have ever made.

Aaaaaaaaaand...happy birthday, Riley! You're less than half of David Bowie's age. Because we all know that is how we tell time. Naturally.

Niko totally devoured eight keys off of my keyboard, including the all important "shift" and "tab" keys. I have to somehow get this thing fixed before attempting to write a novel in 30 days! My typing time is painfully, painfully slow.

One Big Happy Family. Mostly.

I would like to point out that a majority of our pictures look like this. Happiness! Joy! Mom never smiles. Niko screams for the aid of some outside source. I hold him with steely arms and smile like it ain't no thing. Which it isn't anymore. The camera clicks, and Niko runs free to create noisy havoc elsewhere. It rocks. :)

We blessed Nina yesterday, which was really wonderful. My family came down for it, and Riley even made it, so after church we hurriedly scrambled together for a picture because we do that every time all of the Murdocks are together. The last picture was four years ago, which is a little eyebrow raising because there are only four of us, but you take what you can get, yeah? Riley is 6'8", in case you're wondering. In this pic, I'm wearing the Red Stilettos of Death that make me six foot. Yeah.

Luke's family came, too, and we had lots of little kids chasing each other in the backyard and playing on all of the toys. It was so much fun! The little cousins really adore each other. I was pretty thrilled because Andrea came, as well. We've been friends since we were 12, and she totally took care of me. You know how I am in crowds. I get a bit batty. "Put that down, how do you need these chopped, it's the second drawer from the bottom, I'll get ice," she said. And a lot of other things of that nature. I miss that. :)

Then last night Niko spiked a pretty high fever, and I was up with him almost all night. He seems better today, although a little lethargic, and I kept him home for school. He's watching (of course) Cookie Monster. Nina's dressed up like a little Halloween pumpkin. And I wrapped my first Christmas present of the year. Woo hoo! It is time! I know what I'm getting almost everybody, and my fingers are itching to wrap wrap wrap them all!

It's almost time for NaNoWriMo, and I can hardly wait! I have this second novel loosely planned out...as in, I know how it ends. And maybe one or two things that happen in the middle. I like to have freedom to deviate while I write.

I also have a stash of 10 Junior Mint boxes in my freezer (My favorite! Thanks, Riley!) and about 40 ice cream sandwiches/bars/cones leftover from yesterday. I shall use them to entice the neighbors to do nice things for me. Or not. I certainly can't eat them. But a few mints every now and then, that's all right.

Apparently my black-hole like nano background is disturbing to several people. My friend Jeanie is going to teach me some coding so that we can change it to something a little less "If you stare into the abyss, the abyss also stares into you" like. I think that will be a lot of fun! Hooray for smart friends!

The World Is Shifting

Woo, a new blog color. Now we're all dark and mysterious.

Pink never was my color, anyway.

Like Rats On A Sinking Ship...Only The Rats Are Smarter

Oh my LANDS, we're in a world of hurt here! Everything everybody ever said about the perils and pitfalls of having two children is true. So true! They're cute and sweet and Niko's charming and Nina's smiling, and yet I gladly admit that I'm going bonkers. It's Luke's busy season at the site, so I've been single Mom-ing it for...well, pretty much the last month. Except for the week we ran screaming home to my parents, which was really a lot of fun. Luke leaves at five in the morning and gets home around nine at night, and he has to take the car.

Niko's developed this terrible new habit: he won't go to sleep unless somebody lies down with him. So when he wakes up alone in the middle of the night, he cries hysterically until either Luke or I hop into his Cookie bed with him. I asked Carly about this, and she said her son did it, too, and that it will eventually pass. "To everything there is a season," she said, and I am clinging to that with both hands. One crying child up at night I can handle, but two? Harsh! But even with all of the craziness, I lie there at night with Niko's skinny arms wrapped around me, staring at the plastic stars on his ceiling and I know that I will miss the time when he wanted me to come cuddle with him.

During the day I set up Central Command in my living room and bark out orders that go entirely unheeded, even by myself. Especially by myself. This wonderful house has become a sinking ship of stir-crazy madness, and all of the rats would have jumped of of it long ago. We're still hanging around, but I think it'll all level out somehow when Luke enters our lives again. He has that gift.

I'm still not feeling well, and the doctor prescribed a medication for the blood sugar. It's supposed to be a heavy hitter, and he warned me that it might make me pretty sick. "Even more sick than this?" I said, and we laughed the bitter, jaded laughter of professional and patient. And we were laughing so bitterly that it was hysterically funny, and then we were just laughing for real. Until I read the side effects, and the laughter stopped a bit. On my end. He's kind of a kook and will most likely be laughing long into the night. Having completely forgotten why.

I'm addicted to threadbangers.com. I must confess this. I plan to make a pixie hat today, for no other reason except that I can, and I WILL. That's an order from Central Command.

Finnish Cakes

Boys and Girls, today I am going to impart the wisdom that Sister Kaameriinaan taught me in Finland! When she invited Niko and I over for a day of baking and drinking Pepsi Light in order to keep us out of Luke's hair while he studied for his finals. I made this three weeks ago.

STEP ONE: (Picture 1) Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Take three identical drinking glasses and fill the first one with six eggs. Next, fill the second glass with flour, up to the same level as the eggs. And fill the third glass with sugar, also to the same level as the eggs and flour. Got that? Three equal parts eggs, flour, and sugar.

You guys are geniuses! :)

STEP TWO: Now toss one teaspoon of baking powder in with the flour, and mix the eggs, flour, sugar, and baking powder in a bowl. If you're really doing this the Finnish way, you'd use your hands instead of a spoon, but whatever floats your boat.

STEP THREE: (Picture 2) Line a cookie sheet with wax paper. That is VERY important, otherwise this whole experiment is all for naught! Then pour the batter onto the baking sheet. Use a spatula and spread it so that it fills the entire sheet. Yeah, I didn't do that, and paid dearly, so heed my words, O children. Bake it for anywhere from 7 to 20 minutes, peeking in on it to make sure it doesn't burn. It'll cook quickly, because it's so thin.

STEP FOUR: (Also Picture 2) Hooray, it's cooked! Pull it out, let it cool for a bit, and then slather the entire top of the cake with something sweet. What, you ask? Who knows?! Hence the adventure! I used orange marmalade, because I'm nuts about the stuff, but you can use any type of jam, or chocolate syrup, whipped cream or crushed nuts...you get the picture. Knock yourself out!

STEP FIVE: (Picture 3) Carefully (carefully carefully!) peel the cake off of the wax paper as you go, and roll it up into a tube. Make sure it's cool enough that the cake doesn't just fall apart, but not so cool that it becomes a permanent part of the wax paper.

STEP SIX: (Picture 4) Decorate! This is the fun part! I used whipped cream as frosting, but you can use real frosting, or anything else that you want! Frost it, don't frost it, use sprinkles or again, chocolate syrup or edible flowers...after the whipped cream, I grated some chocolate on top.

This cake is totally a freezer cake, so you can toss it in there and forget about it until you're ready to wow company. Or the spouse. Or the UPS man, bless his brown-shorts-covered soul. It's also pretty when you slice it, and that's very important. Because pretty things make the world go round.

Do You Hear What I Hear? Well, It Ain't Gonna Last.

What is this sound? It's so unusual...

Oh my lands, it's silence. Sweet, sweet silence!

*The hopping up and down and joyful screaming shatters said silence*

Niko was throwing up yesterday, and missed school, but today he is feeling much better and stepped carefully onto the bus like a champ. I was remembering how he used to throw up all of the time, several times a day, and what an anomaly that is for him now. I find this to be very grand.

I am doing much better, and even received the all-clear from the doctor to work out. I'm supposed to exercise 45-60 minutes six days a week, eventually, and it should keep my blood sugar under control. Which would be great! I did a little today, and after 15 minutes I was completely fatigued, but I'll get there. My friend turned me on to a great gym nearby that has (GASP!) free babysitting, and Luke and I have decided to sign up. It has kickboxing! And a fabulous track on the top floor! I feel like I'll be getting a piece of myself back! Luke's been running like a wild man, lately. "I'm going out, gonna run nine miles. Be back in a bit." He's training for a half marathon, and has been doing an absolutely fabulous job. Although I am wary about his taking to the streets of this city. "I am a fine specimen of a man," he assured me, saying that nobody would take him on. And even if they did, he could run away really fast.

Which is true, but unless he, like superman, is faster than a speeding bullet, I'm still concerned. So the gym will be wonderful for both of us!

Nina is getting more and more alert. I love to put her on the floor after a feeding and watch her kick her little legs and wave her tiny starfish hands in the air. Wave 'em like she just don't care. She's Niko's opposite in almost every way: He's tiny, she's huge. He ate out of an oral syringe FOREVER ("Hooray! Little three week old boy just ate 10 ml! That's so good!") and Nina's quaffing six ounces every three or four hours. He liked movement, she hates it, he didn't care so much about being held, she loves it. It really is a joy to embrace their differences. I love his courage and curiosity and affection, and her sweetness and snuggability and wonder. They're both absolutely perfect for us.

Though yesterday...not so much. Niko was sick, of course, and every time he'd scream, it would set off Nina. Luke sprained his ankle on his morning run, and although feeling much better, I'm not quite up to par. But we made dinner (guess what? I'm cooking. Yeah, take that, doubters!) and slunk to the couch and blearily watched...whatever it was that we watched...to soothe our unsoothable souls.

Oh yeah. I was reading Helter Skelter. No wonder I wasn't paying attention to the show.

Lord Help The Mister

Who comes between me and my sister.

And Lord help the sister who comes between me and my man.

Death Rides A Pale Horse...Well, Not Today, Sucka!

Yeah, so. I hadn't seen my kids in four days, because on Monday I had the severest headache of my life (on a scale of 1 to 10, it made my migraines seem like a pleasantly endurable 5) a pounding heart, and high blood pressure. So my doctor says, "Get thee to the emergency room, immediately!" Which, of course, means "Get thee to the emergency room as soon as thy husband cometh home from work. Which is in about four hours." So when Luke gets there and can take the kidlets, (Niko is still terrified of doctors and won't step foot near one without going ballistic) he drops me off at the ER. Where I stay. And stay. And stay and stay and stay. Apparently my blood pressure is SKY HIGH (they had some name for it, with "shock" in it, but who can remember the details?) and my pulse was beating at 40 beats per minute. So they admitted me.

And took two CAT scans, and MRI, an EKG, a heart echo, a chest and an abdomen ultrasound, and the vampires sucked greedily at my blood. They had me on morphine (bad reaction, and besides, it increased my headache. Unreal! "This isn't cutting it!" I was saying. They were puzzled. "Morphine cuts everything!") and bags of IVs and the whole shebang.

Pre-eclampsia. Which usually ends after birth, but not always. They scared the tar out of me talking about fatality rates and sudden, deadly spikes in blood pressure, and who would take the children if I expired because of this. I shake my fist at their bedside manner, for the most part! But I'm fine now, and got released yesterday. I'm on bedrest (Right, like that's really possible!) but I will take it easy.

When we put Niko to bed last night, he kept popping out of his room to make sure that I was still here. I was. Then he'd walk back to bed.

Anyway, I was released almost exactly an hour before my babyshower, which, I was assured, would go on without me anyway. That was fine with me, but I was so glad to make it! It was a lot of fun, and the food was delicious, and the clothes were simply adorable. Little girls are so fun to dress up.

I no longer need an American Girl Doll to exorcise past demons. Hear that, Marilyn? Rock on!

Oh, and I DID lose 30 pounds since pre-Nina on last Tuesday, so I'm now 10 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. Not...how I would have opted to do it. I advise against it. Wholeheartedly.

Hey there, Tsar. Meet the Tsarina.

Nina Luna, 10 pounds and 1 oz. She's beautiful with kitten-soft hair and she is very, very sweet. And huge! Luke took a video of the first time that I held her, and I'm rocking her and cooing, "You're massive, baby girl. Simply massive." Which will give her a complex, my mother assures me, but hey. You can't be a true American without a complex, so might as well start early. Why not hit the ground running, yes?

Nina Luna is pronounced Loo-NAH, by the way. The Russian form of the word "moon". I was telling somebody that it sounds like you're oohing and ahhing at fireworks when you say it correctly. "Nina Loooh Naaaaahhhhhhh!" I think this is a fine thing, and that we should all ooh and ahh when we see and greet each other every morning. It'll help with those complexes. We could all use a little celebration, right? But apparently we have chosen the strangest name in history, and nobody can remember it or pronounce it, and she's going to be called Nina Luna or Looney or Nina Marie and we have doomed our daughter to a life of shame and mispronunciation.

Hi. I'm Mercedes. And I managed to survive, so I have hope for our sturdy, robust daughter. This is also exactly how the same scene played out with Niko. "Nikolai? Nee-ko? Nicko? Nick? That's terrible. Name him Jesse." This makes me smile.

Niko isn't so interested in his sister yet, unless she's crying. He finds that absolutely hilarious, and will lay down by her and put his ear to her mouth. Oh, yes, and he'll laugh. She's wailing her tiny little lungs out and he's cracking up hysterically, which seems to be the way of the world a little bit between brothers and sisters. He just likes the sound so much, and I find this grand. I think they'll simply adore each other one day.

I am quite happy, if you can't tell. And perhaps a bit punchdrunk. I always count that as a plus.

Curse It All.

Foiled again. Every day I think, "Is TODAY finally the day that Ninjack arrives in all of his/her splendor and glory?" And every day the answer is NO NO NO. It's driving me nuts. I am DONE. Stick a fork in me. It's time to end this madness.

Our neighbor dropped by last night with a toy that she thought Niko would like. It used to belong to her son, and it was great to have somebody stop by. She's the only person in the cul de saq that we have met, and she said that she's lived here a few years and doesn't know anybody else. That's not such a good sign, but that's the way this area is. My fear is that something will happen to us and our bodies won't be discovered for months. Thanks goodness for the church, is all I can say. They'd be calling around looking for Luke within a few days! Me, well...I could go missing for a bit longer.

Niko has learned how to slide down the slide by himself. So he can climb up the ladder and play in the clubhouse, and just today figured out how to escape his castle and head for the trampoline. It's very exciting to see all of the new things that he's learning! He's such a good kid.

My friend Emily, she's due in three days. We flurry each other back and forth like crazy in emails. "Baby yet? Baby yet? BABY YET?" It's really fun to have somebody in the same situation, and also to keep in touch. It's making the time go by a little faster. This has turned into a cruel type of waiting game.

I demand presentability!

We held Niko down on Friday and cut his hair. "You shall be presentable, dagnabbit!" we screamed, and he is. He looks very handsome. "What pretty hair!" I exclaimed. "May I brush it?" And after a good long sob in the bathtub, he forgave his parents their cruelty. Appealing to his vanity is the way to go, as the boy very much flirts with himself in the mirror.

Dad came down to help out for a few days, and immediately flopped on Niko's bed and refused to get up. "Bring him in and see if he gets jealous," he said, and Niko didn't. He was too busy playing with the baby swing that I just set up in the nursery. Swinging it into the wall hard enough to cause massive brain damage if anybody other than Cookie Monster ever sits in there. I have vowed extreme vigilance.

So I have been doing some writing! And it pleases me very much. My new goal is to have five pieces circulating at a time, which is a huge step for me! And I just accomplished that a few minutes ago! Praise me! Let's see if I can keep it up. Honestly, I don't think it should be too hard because it usually takes a few months to hear back from some of these places. So that placates my lazy side.

I'm on insulin, now, and it has made a WORLD of difference! Life is bearable again. Not only bearable, but beautiful and grand. It's a good time.

Welcome to My Web, Said the Spider to the Fly

This is my favorite room in the entire house! MY ROOM!

Well, okay, so it's Niko's. But I spend a lot of time in here, because it's bright and cheery and because Niko is squirreling away all of our silverware and hiding it around the house. A lot of it ends up here.

Of course, if I were to sleep here at night, all of the bright colors and dizzying circles would give me nightmares. Happy, whirling nightmares about "if moon were cookie" and lots of things that laugh and giggle and generally make a nuisance of themselves. So it's best to avoid that scenario.

I went to the doctor yesterday, who confirmed that because of the GD, the baby is big. How big, we won't know until next week when we do an ultrasound, but obviously plenty big. "Are you sure?" I asked him. He looked at me with all of the love and understanding and sympathy in the world. "Sweetheart," he said, "just LOOK at you!"

And...that means...what? ;)

I've been putting things away like mad in The House, and she is beautiful and clean and fabulous. The nursery is almost up, and it's just a good feeling place that feels like ours, now, not like we're staying at somebody else's place. I'm painting cute little wooden chairs that Mom gave us as a housewarming gift. They're adorable and perfectly Niko sized, and if I just work on them for 15 minutes a day (priming, painting, and then sanding, priming and painting a small wooden table) they'll eventually get done. I learned this from the Flylady, my guru. I realize how many things I put off until I can get the ENTIRE project done at one time, and really, who has that kind of time? Nobody that I know, that's for sure! But 15 minutes here and there...that I can do. And then my energy flags. And I want a bath and bonbons and bed, although that doesn't seem to happen, either. Hmmmm, I'll have to think about this.

Luke comes home every day and takes care of the yard. Which is small enough that it only takes a few minutes, but he's very proud of it, and does a great job. Then we both demand hugs from Niko, alternating who we make him run to, and Niko loves it and laughs. I think he'll like a sibling, although it will be a cruel reality for him, as well. But I'm learning that he's adaptable, and he'll be a wonderful big brother. There will always be a lot going on for Ninjack to watch, that's for sure!

Just an update

Luke and Niko made an impromptu trip tonight to go get our old baby stuff out of storage, so I'm here alone. My one and only goal is to sleep through the entire night, and not get out of bed until I'm good and ready tomorrow. Niko has been staying awake until around 3:00 am lately, and I just can't handle it. I'm not sure why...maybe he's sensing the changes in the air, but it doesn't go over well with Mommy.

He's much more used to the bus now, which is great! It's incredibly stressful to watch him break down every morning, and to manhandle his tiny body outside. I think part of it is that I take him out on the porch 20 minutes early, and we sing and clap and point out all of the cars until the bus comes. It's kind of a time for us to engage fully with one another, and he seems to enjoy it. I know that I do!

I found out that there is a woman here who is a medical expert on Williams Syndrome. I think that I'm going to drop her a line and let her know that we're in the city. I have a feeling that we could be beneficial to each other, and it would be really nice to have our foot in the door.

I don't have my educational class on the diabetes until this Thursday, and I'm feeling worse than ever. "Every day counts," my doctor tells me, but then I have to wait two weeks for an appointment. It's enough to drive me a bit bonkers, actually, and I'm afraid that I'm well on my way around the bend.

The GOOD news is that I was submitting short stories like a crazy woman last night, and I'm really happy about that! I don't expect them to be accepted, and I think that I will be able to handle the rejection. (I hope, anyway!) I am just incredibly proud of myself for even submitting! Woo hoo! So I'll bask in that for a while.

I had a grand moment this evening! I was sitting on the patio in the back, reading a book and watching Niko jump on the trampoline. I heard Luke come home and I called over my shoulder, "We're outside!" and it struck me how nice it really was. It was sunny and Niko was laughing, I was enjoying the scent of Oleander and Luke was coming home from his enjoyable job. We're in a good place right now, and things are really going well for us. This is a wonderful thing.

The Wheels On The Bus...

So Niko has started his one month of summer school, and so far it seems to be going fairly well. He rides the bus there, and screams, of course, and presses both hands against the window as he drives away, looking at me plaintively. "He's usually done by the time we turn the corner," the bus driver confided, and so I believe that everything is all right. I also talked to his teacher on the phone today, who sounds like she definitely has it all together, and that's just a relief. He's learning new things all of the time, like how to climb the ladder to the playhouse all by himself, and where all of the switches to the ceiling fans are. I don't even know that, yet! Tonight he crawled out of the bathtub by himself, as well, after draining the tub. He's really doing very well.

Luke hurt his back somehow, which is just laughable. Because I'm in pretty lousy shape, and now so is he. "Don't climb on the washer," we warn Niko. Because then we'll argue over who has to pull him off when he gets stuck. I think it's pretty funny, actually. But in a throw-your-hands-in-the-air kind of way.

I found out on Monday that I have gestational diabetes, which has thrown me for a bit of a loop. They have a class that I'm supposed to take, and tomorrow is Friday and I still can't get any information out of them. It's worrisome, is what it is, and frustrating, but it is also a relief in a way. I was feeling absolutely terrible, and it is good to know that there was a genuine reason for it, and not just whiny laziness. I hope to hear back from them very soon. Before it's too late, frankly. There's kind of...a bit of a countdown going on. ;)

The House is amazing, and we're really enjoying it! Every evening when it cools down a bit, we go outside and watch Niko play. He loves the trampoline, especially when he jumps with the big blue beach ball. And he is Tsar of the Clubhouse, spinning the steering wheel and sliding down the slide. He swings. He climbs. And today he discovered the monkey bars, so there's even more to explore. A sandbox. Grass. The neighbor's dog that he can see over the fence when he's up there. It is just a whole new world that he hasn't experienced before, and it's simply wonderful. It's really a joy to watch him out there, terrorizing his own personal little neighborhood. It makes me very happy.