Oh my goodness, have I really not updated since MARCH?  I don't even know what to say.  Life was busy, I guess.  I updated the other blog more regularly.  I've been happy and sad and stunned and baffled.  Let's make a long story short, shall we?

I was on bed rest for about three months.  The twins came as a very sudden surprise and were born about eight weeks early.  We named them and held sweet Seija in our arms while she passed. She lived about five hours.  Lilia is still in NICU and has been there for about six weeks.  She's having difficulties with her heart and with breathing, but she's absolutely beautiful and a joy.  I'm having difficulty with being the mother of five children but only three are alive, and one hasn't even been able to see sunshine yet.  There are good days and bad days. 

Some of you know that Niko was "allegedly" abused by his special education kindergarten teacher.  There was a slapdash investigation by the school district and the teacher had to take a class on Williams Syndrome. She still teaches there.  I was not satisfied with the outcome, but was too heartsick and naive to do any better than I did at the time.  (If you want to read about that situation, it starts here.  Seriously, I read it and felt nothing but sympathy and sorrow for sweet, befuddled me.)  I received a letter saying that Niko was assigned to that same school for this school year.  I can't believe that even happened.  I get to call them tomorrow and tell them in no uncertain terms that my son will NOT be going back to that school for any reason, and to change his assignment immediately.  I'm filled with equal parts rage and sorrow, but I realize that I'm much stronger than I was just a few years ago. He is my son, and he's beautiful, and he deserves so much more than he's being given.  He isn't an afterthought, and I'm not afraid to stand my ground.  Wish us luck.

It's cliche but I truly believe that it's darkest before the dawn.  In my experience, you have to go through all of this awful stuff, and then something absolutely amazing happens.  I'm expecting it. :)