Things Are Looking Up!

Man, I have been down. I haven't been so depressed in two years. It's probably a culmination of things, but I have been trying to have a good attitude and work my way out of it. That means that I have been trying extra hard to focus on each and every good thing that came my way. Here are a few:

Niko used the potty for the first time the other day! Sure, it hasn't happened since, but I think that it will. Hooray!

Nina hasn't had any more seizures.

She pointed at my eyes yesterday and said, "Stars!" Oh, you sweet talker.

I had a fantastic phone conversation with my brother. We really get each other.

Luke listened to me blab all about Harper's Island. I loved it.

And Shock Totem is out! I'm so excited! I have a picture of the stunning cover art and Table of Contents
here. I also tell you why I'm nervous.

Have a good day, everyone! :)

Really, I Just Showed Up For the Music

Truly. I popped over to listen to my playlist, and decided that I should write.

Niko started four weeks of summer school on Monday. Thank goodness! It's 100+ degrees here, we're all locked inside of the house so we don't sizzle, his beloved trampoline is still broken (it's too hot to jump anyway) and all the kids do is fight. Luke is working insane hours because he's under deadline, and life will just be pretty miserable until August 31.

That sounds negative, but believe me, I'm trying to be optimistic. I have been depressed for the last three weeks and nothing seems to alleviate it. I'm exercising, I'm playing with the kids, I'm surrounding myself with happy things. It's not cutting it. Forget getting through the day; I'm focusing on getting through the hour. Through the next ten minutes. Do you realize how long the day is when you're taking it ten minutes at a time?

But Niko seems to like his four hours of school, and I'm pleased that he comes home hooting happily. Nina's getting a molar and is extra clingy, so I can use that time to dote on her a little bit. I'm trying to work on the writing thing, but it's not happening. This saddens me.

I do have a happy writing-related announcement that I'm going to post on tomorrow's A Broken Laptop. I'll link you then. :)

It's Nina's Turn to Scare Us

Many of you have heard that Nina had three seizures on Monday morning. Right in a row, about two to three minutes apart. They lasted maybe ten seconds apiece, and I had absolutely no idea what was going on during the first one. She just fell to the carpet, crying like something hurt, and when I picked her up, her eyes were moving back and forth very quickly in her head. The second seizure was a bit more severe, with her head ticking, and by the third, I had her bundled in my arms while I frantically searched for the phone. We rushed her to the ER, where all of her tests came back looking fine. No elevated anything, and a CT scan showed a healthy little girl. I've been trying to set up an appointment with the neurologist ever since we came home, but I can't get anybody to answer their phones or return calls. Again, I hate this town.

Luke gave her a blessing that said she'd be whole, and she has been her happy self ever since they happened. Apparently little kids can just seize, and I'm hoping that it was a sporadic one time thing, and that everything is well. Some have suggested that perhaps it's the heat. It was 108 degrees yesterday.

I thought a lot of things while we were in the car. I thought, "I don't know if I can handle it with two." Nina's our True North. She's stable. She's nurturing and sweet and she doesn't deviate while we run around crazily with Niko. If she's epileptic or something, can we really handle two? I dwelt on this for maybe three minutes. Then I pulled myself together. Could we handle it if we needed to? Definitely. I believe in the strength of the human spirit. I believe in adaptability. We have a fantastic, beautiful, loving son with a disability. And we have an fantastic, beautiful, loving daughter. And if she's a daughter with seizures, then we'll be able to handle that, as well. Perhaps not always gracefully, but as well as we can. Hopefully it won't come to that.

Also, Niko's beloved trampoline literally broke in half on Monday! The skeleton was so rusted that it just snapped. Monday was a Very Bad Day, as you can guess. Luke pulled the trampoline apart, and Niko just wailed. We meant to get him one for his birthday in May, but you know how those things go. I suppose it's a good thing that it's so unbearably hot, because the kids are staying inside and away from the gigantic hole in the backyard. We're hoping to pick up a new one tonight.

I've had people express concern that I'm not updating this blog very regularly. I update www.abrokenlaptop.wordpress.com about every day or so, so feel free to pop in there. Sure, it's more writing related, but you can keep a finger on our pulse that way. I don't want anybody to worry, but I don't have the time to do more at the moment. We all just do the best that we can, right? :)

Niko's Test Result!

The pulmonary blockages are gone. Utterly gone. They were there when he was young, and they aren't there now. Happy day! His aorta is still narrow, but not severely. We're not looking at surgery; we're just going to be aware. And the best part is that he doesn't want to traumatize Niko, so we'll come back in a year. A year! We've never gone a year between heart appointments! I'm so happy!

Also, I had three pieces go up yesterday. A flash, a prose poem, and a regular poem. Three pieces in one day! I was pretty excited. If you're interested, you can read them here. I've decided that I'm interested in joining either the Horror Writer's Association (HWA) or the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA). It gives me another goal to work toward. Anyway, I was updating my Published Works page, and it made me sit back and smile for a second. Hooray! They're mostly small markets, but I'm getting better. I'm learning and I'm not giving up. And this makes me happy. :) Take a quick peek, if you'd like. I'd love it if you would. http://abrokenlaptop.wordpress.com

All is well here.

A Lethargic Yay

Tomorrow I'm scheduled to go to the heart center and discuss the results of Niko's hellacious echo. Luckily Luke is supposed to be off, and can watch the kids so I can jet down there alone. I'm always nervous. Niko's heart has been looking pretty good lately...at least, according to whatever picture they've been able to get, which hasn't been fantastic. This is his first accurate picture in quite some time (like since we moved here three years ago) so I'm hoping it'll only give us good news.

Fingers crossed.

Niko's playing with his toys, and Nina is "reading" a book to her doll. What good kids. They've really been getting on my nerves lately (augh! SUMMER!!) but they're such sweet children. They want to be good and do the right things. They're pretty special.

I'm wiped out today, but I'm trying to press forward on the writing front. A lethargic yay! I think that I'm going to dedicate July to rewriting my second Ray the Vampire novel. I like the first one quite well, but the second one jumped the shark in a big way. You can bet that I'll be listening to this music while I write. This is the official Ray soundtrack. :)

Good news!

Good news! Good news, good news!

So I've been working so hard on getting my novel shopped out to agents. It's really...I don't know. Grueling. Time consuming. It's a little disheartening at times, but I tend to bounce back really quickly because I know that's just how the business goes. And I'm not afraid to work hard, so that helps. But anyway!

You write your novel, and then you have to write a short query letter saying, "Hello, carefully researched agent! My novel is about .... and would you like to read it?" It's hard. And I struggle writing queries anyway, so that doesn't help me. But!

I won a short essay contest, and my prize is that a major agent at Writer's House (they put out Twilight) will critique my query for me! She'll make it as strong as it can be. I've been very lucky to have other people help me with it, and this is just ultra fantastic. I'm so excited! Now I can feel confident about my query. :)

Anyway, I wrote about it here and linked you to my essay, if you're interested. Hooray!

Today is a New Day.

So thanks for letting me rant and rave and wave my arms around in the air last night. I was hurting, and I was angry. I thought about deleting my post afterward, but decided against it because it's true. It's how I feel, and I don't want to sanitize my words, even if it might make other people more comfortable. I'm always reading about some gallant woman without legs, or some terminally ill child, and everybody is full of smiles all of the time. You know that isn't the case. You know there are nights where Mom's head is buried in her hands and she's just sobbing her heart out. I think we need to hear about that, too, because it's important. It's life.

Anyway, today I'm a little more clear headed, and not as overwhelmed by emotion. I no longer think that monsters are attracted to hospital so that they can prey on innocent, ill children. But I do think that I need to file a report about the IV needle nurse.

In other news, today I have not one, not two, but seven different people stopping by at interspersed times. I need to pull myself together for it. And pick up Niko's washer and dryer ads off of the floor. One day when we're fabulously wealthy, we'll buy that boy a front loader, thereby making all of his dreams come true.