Friday, July 24, 2009

I'm Going to be Happy

Luke took the kids to a family reunion four hours away. Originally I was going to go, but I asked if he'd mind giving me a chance to rest and reconnect with myself. They have been gone two hours, but already I feel so much more renewed. I have all of these plans: I want to make a bracelet. I want to write a story. I want to go to bed early and sleep in. I won't answer a single telephone call unless it's family. I'm going to let all of the house stress (the broken dryer, the broken vacuum, the broken garage door)and Niko/Nina stress and writing stress go. Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to be happy.

I wrote a brief post on it here.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Things Are Looking Up!

Man, I have been down. I haven't been so depressed in two years. It's probably a culmination of things, but I have been trying to have a good attitude and work my way out of it. That means that I have been trying extra hard to focus on each and every good thing that came my way. Here are a few:

Niko used the potty for the first time the other day! Sure, it hasn't happened since, but I think that it will. Hooray!

Nina hasn't had any more seizures.

She pointed at my eyes yesterday and said, "Stars!" Oh, you sweet talker.

I had a fantastic phone conversation with my brother. We really get each other.

Luke listened to me blab all about Harper's Island. I loved it.

And Shock Totem is out! I'm so excited! I have a picture of the stunning cover art and Table of Contents
here. I also tell you why I'm nervous.

Have a good day, everyone! :)

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Really, I Just Showed Up For the Music

Truly. I popped over to listen to my playlist, and decided that I should write.

Niko started four weeks of summer school on Monday. Thank goodness! It's 100+ degrees here, we're all locked inside of the house so we don't sizzle, his beloved trampoline is still broken (it's too hot to jump anyway) and all the kids do is fight. Luke is working insane hours because he's under deadline, and life will just be pretty miserable until August 31.

That sounds negative, but believe me, I'm trying to be optimistic. I have been depressed for the last three weeks and nothing seems to alleviate it. I'm exercising, I'm playing with the kids, I'm surrounding myself with happy things. It's not cutting it. Forget getting through the day; I'm focusing on getting through the hour. Through the next ten minutes. Do you realize how long the day is when you're taking it ten minutes at a time?

But Niko seems to like his four hours of school, and I'm pleased that he comes home hooting happily. Nina's getting a molar and is extra clingy, so I can use that time to dote on her a little bit. I'm trying to work on the writing thing, but it's not happening. This saddens me.

I do have a happy writing-related announcement that I'm going to post on tomorrow's A Broken Laptop. I'll link you then. :)

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

It's Nina's Turn to Scare Us

Many of you have heard that Nina had three seizures on Monday morning. Right in a row, about two to three minutes apart. They lasted maybe ten seconds apiece, and I had absolutely no idea what was going on during the first one. She just fell to the carpet, crying like something hurt, and when I picked her up, her eyes were moving back and forth very quickly in her head. The second seizure was a bit more severe, with her head ticking, and by the third, I had her bundled in my arms while I frantically searched for the phone. We rushed her to the ER, where all of her tests came back looking fine. No elevated anything, and a CT scan showed a healthy little girl. I've been trying to set up an appointment with the neurologist ever since we came home, but I can't get anybody to answer their phones or return calls. Again, I hate this town.

Luke gave her a blessing that said she'd be whole, and she has been her happy self ever since they happened. Apparently little kids can just seize, and I'm hoping that it was a sporadic one time thing, and that everything is well. Some have suggested that perhaps it's the heat. It was 108 degrees yesterday.

I thought a lot of things while we were in the car. I thought, "I don't know if I can handle it with two." Nina's our True North. She's stable. She's nurturing and sweet and she doesn't deviate while we run around crazily with Niko. If she's epileptic or something, can we really handle two? I dwelt on this for maybe three minutes. Then I pulled myself together. Could we handle it if we needed to? Definitely. I believe in the strength of the human spirit. I believe in adaptability. We have a fantastic, beautiful, loving son with a disability. And we have an fantastic, beautiful, loving daughter. And if she's a daughter with seizures, then we'll be able to handle that, as well. Perhaps not always gracefully, but as well as we can. Hopefully it won't come to that.

Also, Niko's beloved trampoline literally broke in half on Monday! The skeleton was so rusted that it just snapped. Monday was a Very Bad Day, as you can guess. Luke pulled the trampoline apart, and Niko just wailed. We meant to get him one for his birthday in May, but you know how those things go. I suppose it's a good thing that it's so unbearably hot, because the kids are staying inside and away from the gigantic hole in the backyard. We're hoping to pick up a new one tonight.

I've had people express concern that I'm not updating this blog very regularly. I update about every day or so, so feel free to pop in there. Sure, it's more writing related, but you can keep a finger on our pulse that way. I don't want anybody to worry, but I don't have the time to do more at the moment. We all just do the best that we can, right? :)